Member-only story
Woo-Hoo — My Audience Is Growing
The problem is by the time I get the news it’s shrunk again
I wish you’d grow as fast as my toenails.
I hate that awkward stretch to reach my feet when I need to trim them — my midriff gets in the way and I risk pulling a muscle in my back. Isn’t it weird how we forget we have muscles behind us until they pinch and shout, “I’m here!”
I often tell folks I wear closed shoes when I go shopping because it’s more comfortable for walking around the mall. That’s partly true.
The main reason is my reluctance to expose my toes to the public in flip-flops when my toe nails are overdue for pruning. I dread the discomfort of a home pedicure and put it off as long as possible.
Anyway, let’s return to the plot before you accuse me of misleading you with a clickbait title.
(That reminds me. I should grab my nail clippers this afternoon and play tag with my toes. Maybe better to delay until tonight, as I’m sweltering in the heat and need to write. Our scheduled blackout is at 8 pm. I can wear my headlight in the dark — I must remember to check I’ve charged my back-up batteries. II don’t need electricity to cut my nails.)
Sorry about this off/on discourse, but that’s the story of my life. Power on, power off —…
