HUMOR

Fantastic Job Opportunities for Highly Audible People

Stay ahead of the pack — Loud-Funding is the new normal

Caroline de Braganza
4 min readOct 18, 2020

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Image by Clker-Free-Vector Images on Pixabay

Are you tired of artificial fandom while your favorite team plays to an empty sports stadium?

You’d love to be there but can only watch on TV.

Over the decades you adjusted to canned laughter in sitcoms. But those cued cheers by broadcasters can’t fool you.

You know genuine fans sound nothing close to those monotonous “Ahs” and “Oohs” looping every time your team scores a goal or gets a wicket. No crescendos or fading.

It’s worse than fake news.

Loud-Funding now offers you the chance to convert your living room commotion into bucks in the bank

We want to capture sounds of proper people with loud voices and prior experience in watching live sports events including clapping, whistling, swearing, and singing clean or bawdy songs.

Raising your voice has never been so lucrative.

We invite individuals of any age or gender, except for politicians, to send your CV with a demo recording.

(Please, no videos of family and friends doing the Mexican wave as visuals don’t qualify. If you want to be seen and not heard, rather record your Jerusalema Dance Challenge and post it on YouTube.)

What are we looking for?

Submissions for the English Premier League and the England Cricket Team.

As our business expands, we’ll cross the channel to Europe and sail the Atlantic to the US.

“Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises.” — Demosthenes

We felt sorry for the Brits and thought starting there may boost their morale during another lock down.

Current conditions exclude South African soccer as people can’t stand the cacophony of vuvuzelas — even when they’re sitting. The incessant droning nearly ruined the 2010 FIFA World Cup hosted there.

“The affordable horns and their loud, suffocating ‘drnnnrnnrnrnr’ noises drowned out…

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Caroline de Braganza

Wise Older Woman (WOW). Poetry, essays, humor. Passion for mental health, social justice, politics, diverse cultures, the world and environment.